kenjideath:

re: Itachi calling Sasuke “Dr. Snakes” in the most recent Naruto chapter

Do you think that Itachi’s the type who, because he wants to be affectionate but doesn’t know how, just panics halfway through a sentence and uses a random string of words as a pet name?

like

Sasuke says, “Good night, Onii-san!”

And Itachi’s like, “Good night, shrimple-tiny.” And then he pretends he totally meant to say that and that it’s a block of text that actually has any meaning. So Sasuke spends his whole childhood being called, like, Peachy-Pumpkin-Pie and Tiny-Teanut and Twilight Sparkle and Horatio VanSchmelter and even at six he knows those are terrible pet names but he has to pretend that they’re not because otherwise Itachi will be embarrassed. 

Basically

what if Itachi is my mom?